


Adventures of the Chaotic Trio

by Docosahexaenoic_Acid



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Apple Pie, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou Friendship, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou are Bros, Bokuto Koutarou Has ADHD, Bokuto and kuroo are qpps, Boys in Skirts, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cussing, Demiboy Kunimi Akira, Depression, Dissociation, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, FTM Bokuto Koutarou, FTM Kuroo Tetsurou, FTM Oikawa Tooru, Family Fluff, Femboy Iwaizumi Hajime, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Crack, Gay Panic, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid Hanamaki Takahiro, Hurt/Comfort, Iwaizumi Hajime has ADHD, Kozume Kenma Has Anxiety, Kozume Kenma has Depression, Love Confessions, Minor Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Misgendering, Nonbinary Akaashi Keiji, Nonbinary Character, Panic Attacks, Platonic Cuddling, References to Depression, Self-Indulgent, Social Anxiety, Supportive Akaashi Keiji, Supportive Iwaizumi Hajime, Swearing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Trans Bokuto Koutarou, Trans Character, Trans Kuroo Tetsurou, Trans Male Character, Trans Oikawa Tooru, Transphobia, accidental misgendering, and i need to project that onto oikawa, basically he uses he/they pronouns, because so do i, because thats how i cope, bokuto isnt as gay as he thought he was, like omg i have so many stuffed animals and soft blankets, oikawa loves soft stuff, poor babies, saying i love you platonically, supportive boyfriends, supportive kozume kenma, that should also be a tag, there are so many fluff tags omg, they/them pronouns for akaashi keiji, this whole thing is just me projecting onto haikyuu characters, why isnt that a tag, you can tell what kind of fics i like by looking at the tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:15:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27278602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Docosahexaenoic_Acid/pseuds/Docosahexaenoic_Acid
Summary: Oikawa, Bokuto and Kuroo are all trans males. They all become friends, and this is the result.(Includes nonbinary Akaashi bc I say so, and Kenma and Iwaizumi are supportive best friends/boyfriends. Akaashi is also a great partner to Bokuto.Contains some angst, but there's so much fluff in this bc I'm a huge softie)(I have not put this story on hold or given up on it! I just struggle with keeping a constant update schedule, so be warned!)
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 50
Kudos: 168





	1. Kuroo

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter is just Kuroo's backstory. Pretty much includes his realization, coming out to Kenma and his family, and fluff bc I live for it.
> 
> Side note: I use she/her for Kuroo until he figures out he's trans. After that, I use he/him.
> 
> Another side note: This story does discuss puberty, periods and gender dysphoria, as well as panic attacks and swearing/cussing/cursing. If you don't want to read, you don't have to.

**Age Seven:**

Kuroo laughed as she ran around the playground. She was playing with some of the kids that lived in her neighborhood while her parents watched, huddled close on the bench and smiling at their daughter.

After a while, Kuroo got bored of playing tag, so she told the kids she was done for the time being. They simply nodded and continued playing, acting as if Kuroo hadn't been there in the first place as she walked off.

Kuroo decided she wanted to go on the swings, so she trudged over there slowly. Her legs were sore, so she wouldn't be doing much other than just sitting there, but she didn't want to leave yet.

As she approached the swings, she saw a boy sitting on one of them. He was bent over a Switch, staring down and moving his thumbs over the buttons erratically. He didn't seem to notice as Kuroo approached.

Quietly, so she didn't disturb the boy, Kuroo went to the swing next to his and sat down. She watched as the boy played, entranced by how fast his fingers were moving and getting sucked into the game.

"I know you're watching me," said the boy, and Kuroo jumped, startled by the sound of his voice. The boy's eyes didn't lift from the Switch, nor did the expert movements of his fingers deter. Kuroo watched in awe as the boy finished up the level in his game. She knew from experience that it was difficult, but the boy next to her had made it seem like it was as easy as breathing.

"S-sorry..." Kuroo mumbled as she looked away for a second. When she turned to look back at the boy, she found his eyes on her, studying her facial features. She squirmed a little on the swing, uncomfortable with how piercing his cat-like eyes were.

No reply came from the boy. He only stared for a second longer before returning to his game, acting as if Kuroo didn't exist.

"My name's Kuroo. Kuroo Mei," Kuroo said, capturing the boy's attention once more. "What's yours?"

For a moment, it seemed like the boy wasn't going to answer, when he said, "Kozume. Kozume Kenma." This brought a smile to Kuroo's face.

"So, Kozume, why are you playing video gamed in the middle of a park when you could be playing with other kids?" Kuroo asked, trying to continue the conversation with the boy--who she now knew to be Kozume.

Kozume shook his head and sighed. "I like playing video games more than talking to people," he remarked. "And call me Kenma."

Kuroo's slight smile widened as she heard what Kenma was saying. She didn't even try to stop herself from teasing the other, despite the fact that they had just met.

"You're talking to me. Does that mean I'm special?"

Kenma huffed before muttering, "No."

"Then why are you still talking to me?"

"I'm not talking to you. I'm just answering your questions."

Kuroo's smirk had transformed into a huge, shit-eating grin as she replied, "Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

This back-and-forth continued until Kuroo's parents came over to tell her it was time to go home. She was upset that she was being separated from her new friend, but she knew she had to go.

"I have to go home, Kenma. Will you be here tomorrow?" Kuroo asked, standing up and waiting for Kenma to respond.

Kenma looked like he was internally debating something before nodding. Kuroo grinned at him.

"Bye, Kenma! See you tomorrow!" Kuroo exclaimed before leaving.

After that day, it became routine to meet at the park on weekends. They would always sit on the swings, talking while Kenma played his game from the early afternoon until the sun set.

Kuroo was pleased to find out that Kenma went to the same school as him and lived on his street. That meant they walked home together after school, resulting in them spending even more time together.

Eventually they started going to each other's houses, which led to sleepovers. More often than not, you could find them both at either of their houses, sitting next to each other on the couch or in one of their bedrooms.

Surprisingly, though Kenma was an introvert, he didn't mind Kuroo's company. She was slightly shocked when she heard this, but didn't bring it up again after Kenma mentioned it.

**\----------------------------------------**

**Age Ten:**

After a few years of being friends with Kuroo, Kenma could tell when something was on her mind. She tended to fidget or squirm a lot and avoid eye contact. Whenever questioned about it, she would deny anything was wrong, but Kenma knew better. 

At least, that's what Kenma told Kuroo when he asked what was wrong but had the question deflected. 

Kuroo let out a sigh, glancing at Kenma, who was currently getting settled on a bean bag chair in Kuroo's room. They had just gotten home from school, and Kuroo had been nervous all day. 

"Are you familiar with the term 'transgender'?" Kuroo asked, picking at his cuticles. It was a bad habit and he knew it, but he needed a way to let out his nervousness. 

"Yeah," Kenma replied, unzipping his backpack and taking out his switch. Kuroo relaxed a little at both the response and Kenma's actions. Kenma already knowing the meaning of the word saved Kuroo from a lot of awkward explaining, and him playing on his game while listening was comforting and familiar. Kuroo took his silence after as a sign to continue. 

"Well, I think I am..." Kuroo waited impatiently for a reply, squirming in his seat slightly. There was silence for a few seconds, occupied only by the thundering of Kuroo's pulse in his ears. 

"Okay," Kenma simply said. Kuroo froze and blinked in confusion. 

Where was the hate? Where was the criticism? Where was Kenma saying he was disgusting and that he didn't want to be his friend anymore? 

"What?" Kuroo eloquently asked. It was the only response his brain could come up with to voice all of his questions at once. 

Kenma rolled his eyes, then stated, "I said, 'okay'. It doesn't matter to me if you're trans. You're still the Kuroo I know, the Kuroo that's my best friend. It's not like your personality is going to change." 

Kuroo had tears in his eyes at the mini-speech Kenma had just given. He never expected Kenma to accept him, and he was overwhelmed with how happy he was at the support. 

Kenma noticed this, and set his Switch down. He stood up, gestured toward the beanbag chair, and waited for Kuroo to sit down before sitting sideways on his legs. Grabbing his Switch, he continued playing his game while sitting there. 

"I hope you realize this doesn't change the fact that you're an idiot," Kenma muttered, shifting so his head was leaning back against Kuroo's shoulder. The older chuckled, wrapping his arms around Kenma's waist and watching him play his game. 

And if they fell asleep like that, Kenma's Switch abandoned as they enjoyed each other's presence, no one had to know. 

**\----------------------------------------**

**Age Fourteen:**

Kuroo hated being in a female body. 

This wasn't anything new. He had felt uncomfortable in his body for as long as he could remember, but right now it was amplified by about ten thousand. Slightly dramatic, but Kuroo thought it was pretty accurate. 

Kuroo knew he would end up hitting puberty eventually. It was common knowledge, and he knew what was coming, but it didn't seem real until it happened. 

One day Kuroo woke up and went to use the bathroom. When he pulled down his pants, he saw blood on his underwear, and it took a while for the realization to hit his sleep-deprived brain. 

Telling his mom was embarrassing and awkward, but he knew it was necessary. If his mom didn't know, she wouldn't be able to supply him with anything. 

At first, it wasn't so bad. He was feeling a little weird and bloated, sure, but nothing too bad. 

And then the dysphoria kicked in. 

Kuroo suddenly couldn't focus on his class anymore. The only things that were finding their way into his brain were thoughts of how he had a feminine figure, how he was wearing a short skirt, how he had boobs that were easily noticed by him, even if they weren't very big. His hair was longer than he'd like it to be, and he hated all of it. 

Kuroo sat there, trapped in his own mind, until the bell ringing snapped him out of his haze. He quickly packed his things and left, cursing his brain for not letting him pay attention during class. He would have to borrow someone else's notes to study later. 

A quick, sharp pain in his stomach reminded him why he hadn't been paying attention. He started spiraling again, and his only thought was, _I need to find Kenma._

Kuroo had never been so glad they decided on a spot to meet up to walk home together. 

As Kuroo waited for his friend to show up, he focused on trying to ground himself. He knew he was in a bad headspace, and he needed to get out of it at soon as possible. 

Fortunately for him, Kenma rounded the corner. He practically flung himself at the other, earning a startled yelp as he threw his arms around his best friend. 

"Kuroo?" Kenma seemed confused by what just happened, so Kuroo quickly explained. 

"I'm spiraling, Kenma. We need to go." He let go of Kenma, and the other held his hand to attempt to ground him as they began their walk home. 

When they arrived at Kenma's house--Kuroo practically lived there, so he considered it to also be his house--neither of them bothered to switch their shoes. They immediately trudged up the stairs, making their way to Kenma's room. 

Kenma pulled back the sheets on his bed and pushed Kuroo onto it, who immediately laid down and curled himself into the fetal position. Kenma walked over to his closet, pulled out a weighted blanket, and set it on the bed. 

"You can change first if it makes you more comfortable," Kenma quietly commented. Kuroo silently nodded and stood up, walking over to Kenma's closet and grabbing one of his bigger hoodies that he left over there at one point. He grabbed a pair of sweatpants from his backpack, as well as a pad, before leaving to go use the bathroom. 

He was back in a few minutes, feeling a lot more comfortable now that his girly figure was covered by baggy clothes. He crawled onto the bed, curling up against Kenma and pulling the soft, weighted blanket over the two of them. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Kenma quietly asks from beside Kuroo. 

"Yeah, if that doesn't bother you," Kuroo mumbled. 

"You know it doesn't." 

"Okay," Kuroo mumbled, then repeated himself, as if he was trying to convince himself to believe it. "I was having a good day, and then dysphoria decided to be a pain in the ass, and now I feel like shit. I just wish I was normal and didn't have to deal with this shit..." 

"Hey, Tetsurou, look at me," Kenma said, and Kuroo looked up in surprise. He only said that name when he was serious. 

"Listen to me. You are completely normal. Tetsurou is your name, and you are a boy, no matter what other people say or what your body looks like," Kenma told him, making Kuroo's mind go blank as he focused on his words, the weight of the blanket, and the body heat coming from the boy next to him. "No matter what, I'll always be right here, okay? I love you, Tetsurou, and don't you ever forget that." 

Kuroo kept staring at Kenma in shock, searching for any indication that he was lying, but there was none. Kenma really did love him. 

It was with a start that Kuroo realized he loved Kenma. In fact, he was overflowing with so much affection for the boy in front of him that he pulled him in for a tight hug and whispered back, "I love you too," through tears. 

Once Kuroo had calmed down, he muttered into Kenma's hair, "I don't deserve you." 

"Yes you do," Kenma responded, snuggling further into his friend. 

They didn't move from that position until Kenma's mom called them downstairs for dinner. Even then, they continuously touched each other, neither wanting to be separate from the other.

 **\----------**

Over the course of the next few days, Kuroo was being a lot clingier than normal. Not that Kenma was complaining; contrary to popular opinion, he really liked physical affection from the other. 

When asked about it, Kuroo had said, "I'm just showing affection towards my best friend." Kenma didn't buy it, but he wouldn't push him. 

That was, until he suddenly stopped. 

At that point, Kenma had had enough of Kuroo's bullshit. He was tired of Kuroo dodging his questions, tired of never getting an answer. 

When the two of them met up in their usual spot after school is when Kenma finally snapped. 

"Okay, what the hell is going on here, Kuroo?" Kenma snarled at the other. Kuroo flinched at the aggressiveness, but responded anyway. 

"What are you talking about?" 

"Are you seriously asking me that?" Kenma was exasperated, and he could tell his voice gave that away. "You have been _extremely_ clingy all week, and now you're back to normal, and you're seriously asking me what I'm talking about?" 

"I-" Kuroo started, buts cut himself off and went silent. 

Kenma's voice got even more stern as he demanded, "Answer me, Tetsurou." 

"Can we just go home?" Kuroo asked, voice slightly shaky. 

Kenma shook his head before saying, "Not until you tell me what's going on." 

Kuroo took a deep breath before motioning for Kenma to lean in closer and he complied. "I got my period," he whispered, just loud enough for Kenma to hear. 

Kenma moved back so he could give Kuroo a blank stare, then questioned, "That's it?" 

Kuroo looked shocked. "What do you mean, 'that's it'?" 

"it's really not that big of a deal," Kenma responded. "Why were you so embarrassed about telling me?" 

"Because you're a guy." 

"So are you." 

"But guys don't have periods," Kuroo said in a low, timid tone, refusing to meet his friend's eyes. Kenma rolled his eyes.

"You know what? I've had enough of this self-deprecating bullshit you keep spouting out," Kenma fumed. He reached up to grab Kuroo's face, forcing him to lock eyes with him before continuing, "It doesn't matter what you think, or what other people think, or what your body looks like. You are Kuroo Tetsurou, you are a guy, and you are my best friend. Am I being clear?" 

Kuroo didn't think he could form words if he tried, so he just nodded. Kenma seemed pleased with that answer, because he let go of his face. 

For a moment, it seemed Kenma was contemplating something, before he said, "Come on. We're going to drop our stuff off at my house, then go get your measurements so we can get you a binder." Kuroo perked up at the words. 

"Are you serious?" Kuroo asked. He was half-expecting Kenma to say it was a joke, but there was no response as Kuroo was dragged home. 

When they arrived at Kenma's house, they dropped off their things, like they said they would, and changed before leaving. Kenma made sure his parents knew where they were going in case something happened and they needed to be picked up. 

After they got the measurements, Kenma made Kuroo buy a sports bra before leaving the store, because like hell he was gonna let him exercise in a binder. 

That night, they found a reliable website that sold binders, and ordered one in Kuroo's size. Kenma's mother had to help, because Kuroo and Kenma had no idea what they were doing with online shopping and didn't have credit cards, but they ordered it in the end.

 **\----------**

A couple of weeks later, the Kuroo family was in the middle of watching a movie together on the couch when Kuroo's phone went off. 

Kuroo saw that it was a text from Kenma, so he unlocked his phone and checked it, nearly choking on his popcorn when he saw what it said. 

****

**Kenma**

**19:08**

_It's here._

Leaping up out of his seat, Kuroo made up a bad excuse that he immediately forgot, then shoved his shoes on his feet and ran out the door, not stopping until he got to Kenma's house. 

Despite knowing Kenma for half his life at this point, Kuroo still had the decency to knock instead of burst through the door like he wanted to. 

The door opened, and Kenma's mother greeted him with a smile, saying, "Kenma's waiting for you in his room. He has it with him," and stepping out of the way. Kuroo nodded and thanked her before immediately sprinting his way up the stairs and bursting into Kenma's room, slamming the door behind him. 

"That was quick," Kenma commented, saving his game, then turning his Switch off and setting it on his nightstand. "Are you ready?" He gestured toward a small box on his bed. Kuroo nodded eagerly, watching as Kenma pulled out the binder, surrounded by plastic. 

"Do you want me to leave the room?" Kenma asked as Kuroo turned the plastic, trying to find where to open it from before getting impatient and ripping it in a random spot. He shook his head while unfolding the binder-- _his_ binder. 

Just the _thought_ of finally owning a binder made Kuroo giddy. He ripped his shirt and bra off and threw them somewhere random in the room, before grabbing the binder and realizing he didn't know how to put it on. 

Kuroo looked over to his friend, pleading with his eyes, and Kenma sighed and walked over to him. 

"You're lucky I did research on this," Kenma grumbled, grabbing the binder and having Kuroo bend over so he could put his arms through. "What would you do if I wasn't here to help you?" 

"I don't know," Kuroo muttered, more to himself than to Kenma. He stood up straight and pulled the binder down over his front, Kenma helping him with the back of it. He could tell it was slightly bunched up, but Kenma helped him fix it. 

Kuroo walked over to the mirror Kenma had on his wall. It was strange to see himself wearing it, but was pleased with the results nonetheless. 

When he turned to the side and saw how flat he looked, he felt tears come to his eyes. He kept turning, looking at himself from different angles, and loved what he saw every second. 

Just as he didn't think he could be any happier, Kenma handed him the shirt he was previously wearing, and he pulled it on over his binder. Kuroo gawked at the mirror. If he didn't know any better, he would have assumed he didn't have any boobs and that his chest was naturally that flat. 

He didn't realize the tears were freely flowing down his face until Kenma grabbed him and pulled him into a hug. Kuroo rested his head on top of Kenma's, sobbing into his hair with a huge grin on his face, and pulled him close. 

He was one step closer to feeling like himself, and it was all because of Kenma. 

"Thank you," Kuroo mumbled into the other's hair. Kenma said nothing in return, only squeezing him tighter than before. 

Once Kuroo stopped crying, he let go of Kenma, and they descended the stairs together. 

The two of them let Kenma's parents be excited, his mother saying things like, "my two boys are so grown up," which fueled Kuroo's gender euphoria even more, before they relaxed on the couch. 

"Hey, Kenma?" The boy in question hummed in acknowledgment. "I think I'm going to come out to my parents." 

"Do you want me to be there?" Kenma asked, momentarily glancing up at Kuroo's face from where his head was on his lap. 

"Yeah, but I was planning on going home with the binder on and telling them that way." He paused before continuing, "If you're coming with me, you should probably spend the night." 

Kenma responded with an, "Okay," not bothering to move. It wasn't like he had to pack anything; half of his clothes were already at Kuroo's house because of how much time he spent over there already, so he didn't need to worry about impromptu sleepovers. Besides, if he couldn't find any of his clothes he could always borrow some of Kuroo's. He was bigger than Kenma, and the smaller quite enjoyed wearing big clothes. 

When they decided to leave, Kenma told his parents he was staying the night at Kuroo's house. His mom nodded, and told Kuroo not to run in his binder, which he agreed to.

When the two of them walked in the door, Kuroo's parents were still on the couch waiting for him. They didn't seem to care that Kenma was there; they were so used to it at this point that they just waved him off. 

"Why were you at the Kozume household? We were supposed to have a movie night," Kuroo's father stated, staring at him expectantly. If he noticed his flat chest, he didn't comment on it. 

Kuroo nervously rubbed the back of his neck before replying, "Well, I had a package delivered to there and he said it arrived, so I went to go get it." 

"Okay, but where is this 'package'?" his mother asked, and he felt his muscles tense up in response. Kenma shuffled closer to him, his way of nonverbally reassuring him, and he felt himself start to relax again. 

"I'm wearing it." 

Kuroo watched as both of his parents looked him up and down, trying to figure out what was different, before noticing his flat chest. 

"Mei, are you...wearing a chest binder?" Kuroo heard his mother ask. He immediately tensed up once again. 

"Yeah, I am. I have something to tell you." 

His parents glanced at each other before his father asked, "What do you need to tell us?" 

"Mom, dad..." Kuroo trailed off, taking a deep breath before continuing. "I'm trans." 

It was silent for a while, and Kuroo started squirming slightly while his parents looked at each other, having a silent conversation. 

"Are you happier this way?" his mother questioned, and Kuroo hesitated for a second before answering. 

"Yeah, I am..." 

"Then we support you." 

Kuroo felt a huge wave of relief crash over him at the words. He walked over to his parents are hugged them, basking in the warmth and happiness of being able to freely express himself. 

"Kenma, don't think you can escape this," Kuroo's mother called, motioning for him to come join them. Kenma hesitated for a second before joining the group hug. 

"So, son, what's your name?" Kuroo's father asked once they all pulled apart. 

"Tetsurou." 

"Well then, Tetsurou, can we get back to our family movie night?" Kuroo's father asked, and in that moment, Kuroo felt so happy and loved that he thought he might explode. 

"Of course." 

And in that moment, the four of them cuddled together on the couch, Kuroo finally felt like himself.


	2. Oikawa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is pretty much the same thing as last chapter, but it's Oikawa's backstory this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be using he/him pronouns for Oikawa for the entirety of this chapter, as well as the rest of the fic, because it fits in with the story. I won't explain it here because it will be explained in the chapter.
> 
> Warnings for this chapter: Discussions of puberty, periods, menstrual products, panic attacks and gender dysphoria. There will also be non-sexual nudity and swearing/cursing/cussing.
> 
> Once again, lots of fluff bc I crave it.
> 
> Also, side note: Oikawa is younger than Iwaizumi, so if there's a scene with the two of them and I say something like, "the younger," you know who I'm talking about.

**Age Five:**

Oikawa flopped onto the couch in the Iwaizumis' living room. He let out a huff as his best friend sat right next to him, scooting away to put more distance between them. 

"C'mon, Oikawa, just tell me what I did wrong!" Iwaizumi whined, looking at Oikawa with pleading eyes. The other glanced over at him before crossing his arms and looking away. 

In a hushed voice, Oikawa said, "You said you didn't like Star Wars..." Iwaizumi sighed in relief. This was something that could be easily fixed. 

"Well, I only said that 'cause I've never seen it before." Iwaizumi repressed a smile at the sound of Oikawa gasping. 

"You've _never_ seen _Star Wars_?" Oikawa put a hand on his chest, acting like it was the biggest shock of his life. "Not even _once_?" 

"Not even once." 

"We can't be best friends anymore!" exclaimed Oikawa, putting his wrist over his forehead and pretending to faint, twisting his body so he would fall onto Iwaizumi's lap. "Unless..." Suddenly a smile came onto his face, a mischievous glint in his eye. 

"What are you planning?" 

"Can we watch the first movie together? Pretty please? It's my favorite series and I really wanna watch it with you, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa practically started begging, showing his puppy dog face and all. 

"Of course we can watch it together!" Iwaizumi replied, a little more enthusiastic than he intended, but he couldn't find it in him to care; not when Oikawa's face lit up like it was Christmas morning. 

"Yay! We can watch the movie, and we can have popcorn, and-" Oikawa cut himself off with a gasp, "we can have a pillow fort, Iwa-chan! A pillow fort!" 

Iwaizumi stared at the animated way Oikawa talked in his lap, how he seemed to be getting more and more excited by the second as he rambled on and on, jumping from one topic to the next in an instant. 

Eventually Iwaizumi stopped trying to follow what Oikawa was saying. He had been trying his hardest to follow along, but his brain couldn't keep up with the constant spewing of words from his friend's mouth.

"...don't you think, Iwa-chan?" 

Iwaizumi froze for a second, wracking his brain for an answer, and he eloquently replied with a, "Huh?"

"I _said_ , we should have a sleepover tomorrow so we can watch the movie!" 

"Yeah, that sounds good," Iwaizumi agreed, then perked up when he had an idea. "It stopped raining! Do you wanna go play volleyball?"

Oikawa just jumped up from the couch and ran to put on his shoes, not even replying as he grabbed the volleyball and sprinted to the backyard. Iwaizumi ran after him, not hesitating for even a moment to join. 

**\----------**

"You two are _filthy_! What happened?" inquired Iwaizumi's mother. She looked at the two mud-covered boys, scolding them with her eyes, and they both felt guilty. 

"We wanted to play volleyball..." Oikawa quietly responded, twiddling his thumbs and refusing to meet the woman's eyes. Her face softened as she saw this.

"Next time, wait a day or two after it's done raining so you don't get mud all over yourselves." Iwaizumi's mom started walking towards the hallway, looking over her shoulder to say, "I'm filling up the bathtub. I'll call you when it's ready." 

As she walked away, both of them let out a sigh of relief. They weren't actually in trouble. 

"So how are we going to set up the pillow fort?" Iwaizumi asked, and the two of them debated the best layout for pillow forts. 

At some point during the conversation, they were interrupted by Iwaizumi's mother shouting, "Hajime, Asami, the bath is ready!" 

The two of them scrambled to try and get to the bathroom before the other, Oikawa pouting as Iwaizumi got there before him. 

When they were both in there, they stripped off their muddy clothes and got in the bath, playing Pirates Vs. Aliens until it was time to get out. 

After they dried off and got dressed, they decided to hang out in Iwaizumi's room until Oikawa's mother came to pick him up. 

Oikawa and Iwaizumi were playing games, until all of a sudden, Oikawa stopped and started tearing up. Giving him a concerned side glance, Iwaizumi paused the game and turned to him. 

"What's wrong, Asami?" Iwaizumi asked, but that just made Oikawa start to cry even harder. He was full-on sobbing at that point, refusing to meet his friend in the eye, or even acknowledge his existence. 

After a while, Oikawa finally managed to calm himself down enough to talk to Iwaizumi. 

"I don't wanna go home," he mumbled. 

"Why not?" 

"Because..." Oikawa stopped for a second and took a deep breath before continuing, "I don't like it when people call me a girl, and my parents do it all the time and..." The tears were freely flowing down his face again, and Iwaizumi hugged him. 

"And what?" 

"And I just wish I was a boy." 

Iwaizumi froze for a second, considering the thought, before saying, "Then I'll think of you as a boy from now on." 

Oikawa looked up at him, eyes red and puffy, and muttered, "Really?" 

"If it makes you happy, then yeah." 

"Thank you, Iwa-chan! You're the best!" Oikawa shouted as he tackled Iwaizumi to the ground, squeezing him so tight he could barely breathe as a smile broke out on his face. 

"Asami, your mother is here!" Iwaizumi's mom shouted down the hallway, and Oikawa reluctantly let go of his best friend. 

"I'll see you tomorrow for our sleepover," Oikawa said, giving Iwaizumi one last quick, gentle hug before leaving. 

**\----------**

For the entirety of the next day, Oikawa was practically vibrating with excitement and anticipation. He couldn't wait to build a blanket fort and watch one of his favorite movies with Iwaizumi.

It took a little convincing, but eventually Oikawa's mother let him bring some (read: all) of his own pillows and blankets (and stuffed animals, though he would deny it if anyone asked) with him. 

The day seemed to drag on and on until Oikawa could go to Iwaizumi's house, and when it finally came time to leave, he couldn't sit still during the car ride. He wouldn't stop bouncing around, and eventually his mother gave up on trying to get him to stay still.

Oikawa practically leaped out of the car as soon as it was parked in the driveway. He hurriedly stacked everything he brought with him, struggling to walk with the items blocking his view and almost faceplanting when he reached the stairs. He could hear his mother's exasperated sigh as she grabbed enough so that he could see over the stack and flashed her a thankful smile as she knocked on the door. 

"What's all this?" Asked Iwaizumi's father as he opened the door. The younger Oikawa said something about a pillow fort before rushing past him to Iwaizumi's room, then realizing his arms were full.

"Iwa-chan, open your door!" Oikawa called out, trying not to drop anything as he shuffled his feet impatiently. The door opened in front of him and he shoved past his friend and dropped his armfull onto the bed. 

"Oikawa, what-" Iwaizumi started, staring dumfoundedly at Oikawa, before being interrupted. 

"I'll be right back! I have to grab the rest of it!" Oikawa hurriedly said, before rushing out of the room. 

For a second, Iwaizumi just stood there, before trailing after the younger boy and shouting after him, "Wait! What do you mean, 'the rest of it'?" 

"I _mean_ I'm grabbing the rest of it!" 

Iwaizumi suddenly stopped in his tracks as he saw the second stack Oikawa carried. it was higher than the first one, and held most of the stuffed animals, so the pile constantly swayed and looked like it would fall over at any second. 

"Oikawa, wait, let me help-" 

"I've got it, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa insisted from behind the stack, right before bumping into the couch and falling over, dropping all of it on the floor. 

Iwaizumi crossed his arms and gave him an _I told you so_ look, before helping him up and grabbing some of the things he dropped. 

As the two of them made their way back to Iwaizumi's bedroom, they could hear laughing from behind them, and Oikawa started pouting. 

"Jeez, Oikawa, did you bring every pillow, blanket, and stuffed animal you own?" joked Iwaizumi, trying to lighten the mood. 

It was silent for a second before Oikawa responded with a quiet, "Maybe..." Iwaizumi gaped at him. 

"I was kidding." The older sounded exasperated, before breaking out into a smile. "You're so dramatic. Of course you would go overboard like this." 

Oikawa scoffed before saying, "I didn't go overboard, I just really like soft things." He seemed to suddenly remember something. "Mom has to go to work. I need to say goodbye to her." 

The boys left the room to say goodbye, but they ended up talking for a bit before the older Oikawa checked the time. 

"I should get going now," she announced. "I'm sorry to cut this short, but I need to get ready for work." She turned towards Iwaizumi's dad. "I'm sorry about Asami. She insisted that she bring all of her soft things for the pillow fort her and Hajime are building." Iwaizumi was the only one who noticed Oikawa tense up at her words, so he grabbed his hand to comfort him. 

"It's not a problem. I don't mind, as long as it gets cleaned up once they're done with it." 

"Okay." She then turned towards the children, crouching down to give each of them a kiss on the forehead, before ruffling their hair as she stood back up. "Behave yourself," she reminded her son before turning and leaving. 

Once she was gone, the two of them went back to Iwaizumi's room. They started talking while building the pillow fort, making minor adjustments as they went. 

There was a knock on the bedroom door, and they both looked toward it as it opened. Iwaizumi's dad peeked his head through the doorway. 

"Since you two are going to watch a movie, I'll give you an early bath. Okay?" He asked, and the kids nodded before resuming their task. 

Eventually they got in the bath, talking about random things this time instead of playing. 

When they got out and started to dry off, Oikawa realized something. 

"I forgot to grab my clothes." 

"Then it's a good thing I grabbed them for you." Iwaizumi had a pair of pajamas in his hands, holding them out to Oikawa. 

"Thank you, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa sighed contentedly before quickly drying off and grabbing the clothes from his friend's hand. He got dressed, reveling in the warmth they gave him. "How did you know which ones I wanted to wear?" 

"We've known each other our whole lives. I know that's your favorite pair of pajamas," Iwaizumi stated, shrugging. Oikawa nodded in response. 

For a moment, it was silent, before Oikawa suddenly burst out, "Hurry up and get dressed, Iwa-chan! We have to watch the movie!" 

**\----------**

It took a while for them to get everything ready, but when they did, it was easy for them to settle into their--admittedly comfortable--pillow fort. 

The movie started, and Oikawa was practically vibrating as his eyes were glued to the screen for most of the movie, occasionally saying something along the lines of, "Look, Iwa-chan!" or, "It's so cool, right Iwa-chan?" 

By the time the end credits rolled around, the two of them were literally draped across each other, popcorn bowl abandoned long ago. Oikawa let out a yawn and Iwaizumi followed. 

"Goodnight, Iwa-chan," Oikawa tiredly mumbled against Iwaizumi's shoulder, and he barely had time to reply before sleep claimed his body. 

**\----------------------------------------**

**Age Thirteen:**

Ever since that day when they were five, Iwaizumi made sure to always have soft blankets in his room so Oikawa could use them when he spent the night. It was his own subtle way of showing Oikawa he cared, even if he sometimes acted like he didn't. 

The two of them had an unbreakable bond full of trust and love, the kind that only sprouts from knowing each other for years. 

Which is why, when Oikawa left the room to change, Iwaizumi was confused. 

The two of them had taken baths together since they were babies. It was a less often occurrence now, but it still happened every once in a while. 

Oikawa had never had a problem changing in front of him before, so why would he now? 

"Hey, Oikawa, what was that about?" Iwaizumi asked once Oikawa returned. 

"What do you mean?" 

"You left the room to change. You've never done that before." 

"Well, I just figured that, since we're getting older, we should stop changing in front of each other," Oikawa responded, refusing to meet Iwaizumi's eyes, a telltale sign he was lying. 

"Try again," Iwaizumi said, crossing his arms over his chest and giving him a stern look. 

"You know me too well, Iwa-chan," Oikawa said before continuing, "I got my period, and I just feel uncomfortable. It reminds me that I'm a girl and-" A sudden sob escaped from him, cutting off his sentence. 

Iwaizumi's expression softened, and he muttered, "Hey, come here," while holding his arms open for Oikawa. The other immediately stepped into his embrace, letting the familiarity of his best friend hugging him soothe him. 

"Listen to me, Oikawa. You're not a girl, and if anyone says otherwise, tell them to fuck off," Iwaizumi mumbled into Oikawa's ear, earning a choked laugh from the other. 

When they finally let go of each other, Oikawa used his sleeve to wipe off his face. He thanked his friend then looked at the time. 

"Shit, we're gonna be late to school!" 

**\----------**

For Oikawa, the school day seemed to drag on forever. He didn't want to be in school right now; what he wanted was to curl up on Iwaizumi's bed with the soft blankets and pajamas he had over there. 

However, the universe seemed to have other plans. 

As soon as school let out, Oikawa met up with Iwaizumi, and they started walking. 

After a few minutes, Oikawa realized they weren't heading in the direction of either of their houses. 

"Where are we going?" 

"Iwaizumi looked over at him for a while before saying, "The grocery store." 

"Why?" 

"Because we," Iwaizumi paused for a second as they turned the corner, "are going to get you some things to help you through this." 

Oikawa stopped walking and blinked, staring at Iwaizumi. 

"Wait, what?" 

"You heard me." 

"Yeah, I did, but...why?" 

"Because you're my best friend and I want to help you feel better." The two of them walked in the store, and Iwaizumi asked, "Pads or tampons?" as he picked up a basket. 

Oikawa choked on air, taking a moment to regain his composure before saying, "What?" 

"Answer the damn question." 

"Uh, I've never used tampons before, so..." Oikawa trailed off, his cheeks bright red from how shameless and blunt his friend was being. 

"Pads it is then." As he spoke, Iwaizumi looked at the selection available. "Do you have a preference?" 

"Um, thin ones? With wings?" 

Nodding, Iwaizumi picked up a pack that fit those requirements, putting them in the basket and dragging Oikawa with him to another aisle. 

"What are we doing here?" Oikawa asked as he saw the sweets lining the shelves. 

"Do you like dark chocolate?" 

"Yeah? But what does that have to do with-" 

"Chocolate usually helps stablize your hormones a bit, and dark chocolate specifically helps your brain release endorphins," Iwaizumi rambled as he grabbed some. Oikawa gaped at him. 

"How do you know all this?" 

"I did research, idiot," Iwaizumi commented as he dragged Oikawa with him, making it sound like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

As they walked around, Iwaizumi grabbing things they needed, it began to sink in that Iwaizumi did research so he could get the right things to help him through this. 

By the time they got to the register, the basket was overfilled with various different items that Iwaizumi had grabbed for Oikawa. 

When they were told the total, Oikawa tried to pay, but Iwaizumi beat him to it. 

**\----------**

"Iwa-chan, why are you spoiling me?" Oikawa asked as Iwaizumi held up a chocolate bar so he could bite it. He did so, humming in approval at the taste. 

"Because you're my best friend and you deserve it," he responded, stealing a bite for himself. Oikawa shook his head. 

"No, I don't," Oikawa mumbled, suddenly hit with a huge wave of dysphoria. "I really don't." 

"Of course you do" 

"No, Iwa-chan. How can I deserve this when I can't even be happy with my own body?" Oikawa felt tears come to his eyes as he stared down at his chest. Even though he didn't have a bra on under his loose pajama shirt, he knew what was there, and so did Iwaizumi. "How can I deserve _you_?" 

"Hey, none of that," Iwaizumi muttered as he pulled his friend closer to him, cradling his face with his hand. "You being uncomfortable in your body doesn't change who you are as a person. Your gender may be a part of you, but it doesn't define you." 

Oikawa sniffled, pulling him closer. He mumbled a, "Thanks, Iwa-chan," into his neck as he burrowed his face into it. "Now give me another bite of chocolate." 

Iwaizumi shoved him away, making Oikawa giggle. That turned into a full-on laughing fit as the rest of the chocolate bar was shoved into his open mouth. Soon after, Iwaizumi joined in. 

Every once in a while, Oikawa would manage to slow his laughs enough to try to chew on the chocolate, but Iwaizumi would always laugh harder at how weird he looked with an overstuffed mouth, causing Oikawa to start again. 

This kept going until the chocolate eventually melted in Oikawa's mouth, and their abdomens were hurting from how hard they had been laughing. 

"Oh my god, why were we laughing?" Oikawa managed to get out between gasps for air. "That was so stupid!" 

"Yeah, but guess what?" 

"What?" 

"You're not upset anymore." 

Oikawa's brain took a few seconds to catch up with what he said, but when it did, he screeched, "You sneaky bastard!" 

"Hey it worked, didn't it?" 

Oikawa huffed and turned so he was facing away from Iwaizumi, who had started laughing again. 

"I hate you," muttered Oikawa, and Iwaizumi moved so he was spooning the other. 

"No, you don't." 

"...I hate it when you're right." 

**\----------------------------------------**

**Age Sixteen:**

Oikawa let out a heavy sigh as he stared at himself in the mirror. He held up two dresses, both of which he hated equally. "What do you think, Iwa-chan?" 

Iwaizumi looked up from where he was doing his homework, scrunching his nose up before commenting, "I _think_ you have a horrible sense of style." He suppressed a smile at the huff Oikawa let out. 

"Like you could do any better." 

Upon hearing those words, Iwaizumi set off to create a better outfit. 

**\----------**

Oikawa quickly learned that, yes, Iwaizumi could do a better job than him when it came to picking out clothes. Compared to him, Iwaizumi was a world-famous fashion designer, but that was probably because his fashion sense was shit. 

Iwaizumi spun Oikawa around so he could look at himself in the mirror, and his jaw dropped when he saw how he looked. 

"Iwa-chan, how? What? When did you?" Oikawa was so surprised that he couldn't form a proper sentence, and he stared into the reflection of his body. 

And then it hit him: this was _his_ body, _he_ was wearing the dress. 

"Please take it off," Oikawa suddenly whimpered, refusing to look at the mirror any longer. Iwaizumi started reaching for the zipper when there was a knock on the door. It opened to reveal Oikawa's mom, who was smiling from ear-to-ear. 

"Asami, you look beautiful," she commented, glancing to Iwaizumi, who noticed his friend tense at the words. "Thank you for helping her out, Hajime. She really has no sense of style." 

"I'm sorry, mom, but I can't go tonight," Oikawa suddenly said, voice shaky as he stared at the floor. His mother looked at him in confusion. 

"Why not, sweetheart? You look amazing in that dress-" 

"Because I hate it!" Oikawa shouted, his emotional dam bursting. "I hate _all_ of it! I hate the dress, I hate the heels, and I hate the makeup! But do you want to know what I hate most of all?" He paused for a second, giving himself a moment to breathe before continuing, "The thing I hate most of all is you calling me Asami!" 

"Asami, what is the meaning of this?" Oikawa's mother sounded stern. 

"That's not my name! My name is Tooru, and I'm not your daughter! I'm your son!" 

Silence hung heavy in the air after those words, and Oikawa seemed to realize what he had said. 

"Fuck, I didn't...shit," he muttered, pushing past his mother and rushing to the bathroom. Iwaizumi silently followed after him, staring at the woman as he walked past, trying to read her facial expressions. He didn't manage to get anything out of it. 

Knocking on the bathroom door, Iwaizumi announced, "It's me, Tooru." When the door didn't open, he sighed and leaned against the wall next to it. 

After a few minutes of waiting there, Oikawa's parents came over to talk to him, and they came to an agreement. 

Iwaizumi knocked once more after they left, saying, "They're gone now, Tooru. They're letting you stay home tonight." 

The door still didn't open, but this time Oikawa responded with a, "Iwa-chan, can you please get me a pair of pajamas?" 

Iwaizumi complied, grabbing Oikawa's favorite pair of pajamas and bringing them to the bathroom. 

The door swung open to reveal Oikawa, still in the dress and tears flowing down his cheeks. All it took was one look and Iwaizumi stepped into the room with him, shutting the door behind himself. 

Iwaizumi changed Oikawa's clothes for him, the latter too drained to do it himself. 

"I'm sorry, Iwa-chan," Oikawa muttered once he was fully clothed. Iwaizumi shook his head. 

"There's nothing to be sorry for. You did nothing wrong." He followed his words up by pulling Oikawa into a hug, feeling the younger melt into it. 

"I know that, but still." 

Iwaizumi silently led Oikawa back to his bedroom, grabbing the softest blanket he could find and curling up with Oikawa underneath it. 

Eventually Oikawa fell asleep like that, and Iwaizumi joined him soon after. 

**\----------**

"We need to talk about last night," Oikawa's mother said as soon as he sat down across from her. He gulped and leaned towards Iwaizumi, who squeezed his hand under the table. 

"I'm sorry for yelling," Oikawa immediately blurted out. "Will you forgive me?" 

"On one condition." 

"Yes, anything! I'll do anything to make you forgive me!" 

"Let your father and I get you a binder and a haircut." 

Oikawa looked up from where he was staring at the table. "Are you being serious?" 

"Of course we are, Tooru!" his mother responded, and Oikawa looked about ready to cry. 

"Thank you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I projected on Oikawa a lot while writing this chapter. Next chapter is Bokuto's backstory.


	3. Bokuto

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is Bokuto's backstory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: Misgendering (both purposeful and accidental), transphobia, transphobic slurs, bullying, internalized transphobia, puberty, periods, menstrual products, swearing/cursing/cussing, panic attacks, and gender dysphoria.
> 
> Side note: I use she/her pronouns for Bokuto in the first section of the story, as well as he/him for Akaashi at first.
> 
> This is where the hurt/comfort tag really comes into play.

**Age Thirteen:**

Bokuto laughed at a joke one of her classmates made, throwing her head back and being her usual loud, boisterous self. 

The boy she was talking to seemed nice enough, but she couldn't remember his name. It was something she had always struggled with and, being as popular as she was, it was even more of a struggle.

Bokuto was about to reply, but was cut off by the sound of the bell ringing, signalling the end of lunch. 

"I'll talk to you later, Bokuto," the boy commented before walking off. Bokuto nodded in response. 

**\----------**

As soon as the last class of the day was over, Bokuto hurriedly packed all her things in her bag and rushed to get to the changing room before practice started. 

"Hi, Kanako!" One of her friends called as she entered the room. She greeted her and changed as quickly as possible, eager to get to practice.

 **\----------**

The second Bokuto made it home, she headed straight for her bed and faceplanted onto it. She was starting to think that she should stop practicing so late into the night. 

Groaning, Bokuto rolled over so she was laying on her back, staring up at the ceiling. 

She stayed like that for a while, not moving as random thoughts passed through her head, until her phone's notification sound broke her out of her trance. 

It ended up being a text from one of her friends, asking if she wanted to hang out tomorrow after school. She checked her phone calendar and saw tomorrow was Friday. She didn't have anything else to do, so she figured why not? 

Shooting a quick text of approval, Bokuto got up from her bed and trudged into the kitchen to eat dinner. 

**\----------**

Hanging out with her friends was, surprisingly, boring. She knew it shouldn't be; they were her friends, and people were supposed to enjoy hanging out with their friends, so why didn't she? 

Despite this, Bokuto felt wrong. All of her friends in this group were girls, like her. She should fit right in, but something felt wrong, like she didn't belong there. 

**\----------**

It took a few weeks of research, but eventually she realized that _she_ was actually a _he_. 

The realization hit Bokuto like a truck, and suddenly it all made sense: the discomfort he felt with having long hair and wearing skirts and dresses, the fact that he hated his body, how utterly _wrong_ it felt when people used his birth name and pronouns. 

Bokuto knew the first thing he had to do was come out to his parents, and though he knew he was supposed to be nervous about it, that feeling was overtaken by the idea of finally being able to express himself in a way that made him comfortable. 

In fact, Bokuto was so ready that he immediately left his spot on his bed to go tell his mother. 

As soon as he saw his mom making dinner in the kitchen, he walked up to her and started talking to her. 

"Hello, Kanako. Do you need something?" Bokuto's mother asked him once she spotted him. He shrugged. 

"I mean, kinda?" Bokuto stated, it sounding more like a question than anything else. "Can you just refer to me as a boy from now on?" 

Bokuto watched as his mother paused for a second before replying, "Of course, dear. Do you have a name picked out?" 

It was silent for a moment before he muttered, "I haven't really thought about it yet." 

Bokuto's mother walked over to him and planted a kiss on his forehead before saying, "Thank you for telling me. Now get out of my kitchen. I'll call you when dinner's ready." She shooed him away, and he smiled before heading back to his room. 

Suddenly Bokuto felt an overwhelming feeling of joy well up in his chest, and he was almost in tears because of it. He was glad that his mother still treated him the same after he came out to her, if the way she shooed him out of the kitchen like always was any indication. 

Bokuto got a haircut the next day, and he got a binder, but he wasn't out to anyone besides his parents until his final year of junior high. 

**\----------------------------------------**

**Age Fifteen:**

The second Bokuto walked in the door on his first day as a third year, everyone gave him strange looks. 

"Kanako, is that you?" asked one of Bokuto's female friends as she approached him. He felt a little upset, but it was something he could easily push down. 

"I go by Koutarou now," he corrected, and she gave him a questioning look. 

"Isn't that a boy's name?" 

Bokuto sighed before awkwardly commenting, "That's the whole point." 

"Oh, so you're a tranny," the girl replied. Bokuto's eyes widened. 

"I-I mean, yeah, I guess so? Although I would prefer if you didn't use that word-" 

"Shut up, tranny," the girl said, rolling her eyes. She gave him one last disgusted look before turning around and walking back to where she was previously sitting. 

Bokuto sat down away from everyone else, feeling the little confidence he had slip away as the people in the room all gave him dirty looks, acting as if he had personally offended them in some way. 

He stayed in that spot for the rest of the school day, wondering why everyone suddenly seemed to hate him. He was still the same person; the only difference was that he looked different than he used to. Why did no one like him anymore? 

**\----------**

Over the course of the year, the teasing transitioned into bullying. He eventually started coming home with bruises on him every night. 

The decrease of Bokuto's friends also made his happiness and excitement decrease. He felt like he was just going through the motions every day, and he no longer had anything to look forward to except for volleyball. 

Volleyball was his only escape from everything else that was going on in his life. It was something he had felt passionate about since he was little, and it gave him something to put all of his energy and focus into. 

Alongside volleyball, Bokuto started to focus on building up muscle mass. He started working out in his spare time, and it slowly got to the point that when he came home, he had to eat dinner, then take a shower and go to bed immediately afterwards. He didn't leave much time for actual homework, but he somehow still managed to get it all done in time.

Bokuto was grateful for his parents. They supported him unconditionally and didn't treat him any differently since he came out to them, besides the switch in name and pronouns. They were probably the only reason he got out of bed every morning. 

For the rest of the school year, he suffered through everything people threw at him, and was relieved when he found out he wouldn't be going to the same high school as anyone else in his class. 

**\----------------------------------------**

**Age Sixteen:**

When Bokuto stepped foot on the campus of his new school, he was reluctant to approach anyone. He was scared they would somehow recognize him or know he was trans. 

Luckily for him, nobody seemed to pay him any attention as he entered his classroom. Everyone seemed to already have at least one person that they were friends with, and Bokuto was equal parts relieved and disappointed as he sat down in his seat. 

**\----------**

Bokuto was so excited about the fact that he would be able to play on the boys volleyball team that he didn't realize he forgot to switch out of his binder until he got to the gym. He knew exercising in it would be a bad idea, but going back to the changing room would make people ask questions, and he didn't want his team to hate him on his first day. 

The coach interrupted his thoughts by telling everyone to introduce themselves to each other. 

When the coach turned his gaze to Bokuto, signalling his turn, he was given a pointed look, as if being reprimanded for something. 

Bokuto felt a lump form in his throat as he said, "Bokuto Koutarou. First year." He hated how high-pitched his voice was, but his teammates paid it no mind. 

Once the introductions were over with, the coach walked over to Bokuto. "Do you want to explain to me why the hell you're wearing your binder while at practice?" he asked, carefully studying Bokuto's features. 

"I got excited and forgot to change out of it," mumbled Bokuto, refusing to meet the man's eyes. 

"You lucked out today, since we're just doing orientation, but don't forget next time. We don't need you hurting yourself." After saying that, the coach walked over to where a dry eraser board on wheels was, and Bokuto sat down with the rest of his team. 

**\----------**

Bokuto was having a fucking horrible day. 

That morning, he had woken up with a horrible stomach cramp. He didn't want to get out of bed that morning because of it, but he eventually managed to force himself up. He almost passed out when he stood up. 

After calming down from that, he made his way to the bathroom, only to have to call for his mom when he saw blood down the legs of his sleep pants. 

His cramps were a bitch, and there were multiple occasions where he had tried to stand up but fell back into his chair because of how bad it hurt. 

The worst thing by far, however, was when one of his teammates pointed it out to him during afternoon practice. 

Bokuto had just finished a spike when his attention was caught by Konoha. 

"Hey, man, are you okay?" 

Bokuto stared at him in confusion. "Yeah, why?" 

"There's blood dripping down your leg." 

Bokuto looked down and there was, in fact, blood trailing down his inner thigh. He panicked for a moment before hurriedly saying, "I cut my leg earlier. I guess it opened up again. I'll get it checked out," before hightailing it out of there. 

Bokuto rushed to the changing room and opened his locker, looking around for anything that would help him. When he found nothing, he grabbed his phone and called his mom. 

After explaining the situation, and the fact that he didn't have any menstrual products or a change of clothes, Bokuto had to wait with blood steadily making it all the way down his leg. When she got there, Bokuto grabbed the bag from her and rushed to the bathroom. 

Once he was all cleaned up, and admittedly feeling a lot better, Bokuto made his way back to where his mom was waiting for him. He said goodbye to her, then headed back to practice. 

**\----------**

Later that night, he laid in his bed, wide awake despite the late hour. 

Bokuto knew he needed to sleep, and he was exhausted, but dysphoria decided to be a bitch and kick in as soon as he had a moment to himself. So he was stuck, not able to sleep because his brain refused to shut off. 

**\----------------------------------------**

**Age Seventeen:**

"Shit, I'm gonna be late!" Bokuto called out as he saw the time. 

Rushing to put his shoes on, he opened the door and was about to leave, until he heard a throat clear behind him. 

Bokuto turned his head to see his mother holding his school bag out to him. He quickly grabbed it and thanked her before running out the door. 

Normally Bokuto wouldn't run in his binder, but he was going to be late to his first day as a second year and he still had to find his classroom, so he made an exception. 

When he eventually made it to his classroom, he threw open the door, earning a glare from the teacher, and apologized before making his way to a seat. 

"Hello, Bokuto!" one of his classmates greeted, and he returned the greeting before realizing what he had just done. 

_Why the fuck did I think running in my binder was a good idea?_ Bokuto mentally scolded himself. He was panting a lot more than normal because of the constricting clothing around his chest, and he decided not to tell his parents about it. He didn't want a lecture about how dangerous it was for him to be exercising in it. 

**\----------**

When the bell signaled the end of the school day, Bokuto sighed in relief. It was finally time for volleyball practice. 

Normally he would have about half an hour to stall before it was time for practice, but the second and third years needed to be there earlier than normal so they could go over how to help the first years. 

**\----------**

Bokuto was focused on what the coach was saying for a while. Really, he was. 

Until the most beautiful person to ever walk the earth entered the gym. 

Really, the man was gorgeous. He had dark hair that was messy in the most attractive way, a sharp chin, thin lips that stretched across his face in a slight frown, and his eyes. 

_God_ , his eyes were pretty. They were a perfect mix between blue and grey, and Bokuto could feel himself gaping at the god-like attractiveness this guy possessed. 

Bokuto was snapped out of his trance by the sound of a hand slamming against the dry erase board. He jumped, turning his attention back to his coach. 

Speaking of the coach, the smug bastard was giving Bokuto a knowing smirk as he continued where he left off. Bokuto suddenly wished he could sink through the floor. 

"Alright, the first years are here, so it's time for the introductions," the coach told them. Everyone who was sitting on the floor stood, and they all walked over to the small group gathered by the gym doors. 

The team formed a circle, and they went around introducing themselves. 

The last person to go was the literal god, and Bokuto stared again, but couldn't find it in him to care. 

"My name is Akaashi Keiji, and I'm a first year," the boy announced, and holy shit, Bokuto might combust. His voice and name fit him so perfectly, and it _shouldn't be possible for anyone to be that attractive_! 

Akaashi eventually noticed Bokuto staring at him, and met his eyes. Bokuto felt a shiver go up his spine at the intense gaze, and looked away before it affected him any further. 

Throughout the entirety of practice that day, Bokuto couldn't focus on the talk the coach was giving because he was too busy staring at Akaashi. It got to the point where the third years called him out on it, and he wanted to die every time it was mentioned, especially because they kept giving him knowing looks. 

**\----------**

The second practice was over with, Bokuto sat down against the wall and put his head in his hands. How the hell did anyone expect him to practice with someone that looked like _Akaashi_? 

"Bokuto-san?" a voice asked, and the boy in question looked up. He was surprised to see the source of his current problem standing in front of him. 

"Yeah? Do you need something?" 

"Can I sit next to you?" 

Bokuto nodded, and the other lowered himself to the floor on Bokuto's left. 

"What position do you play?" Akaashi questioned. 

"I'm a wing spiker! What about you?" 

"I'm a setter." Bokuto perked up at those words. 

"Oh my god, we're gonna play together! You're gonna be my setter! Wait, Akaashi, can you set for me?" 

Akaashi took a moment, seemingly contemplating something, before saying, "Sure." 

**\----------**

Over the next few months, it became routine for Bokuto and Akaashi to stay behind to get some extra practice in. No-one seemed to mind as long as they made sure to clean and lock up once they were done. 

One day during practice, Bokuto noticed that Akaashi was acting a bit off, and decided to confront him about it.

"Are you okay, Akaashi? You seem off today." 

"I'm fine, Bokuto-san. I'm just thinking," Akaashi reassured him. Bokuto was a little skeptical, but he didn't want to push it and accidentally make the other mad at him. 

At the end of practice was when Akaashi finally addressed why he couldn't concentrate. 

"Can you guys please wait a minute before you leave? I have something I want to tell everyone," Akaashi announced, and everyone nodded, watching him expectantly. 

"I'm nonbinary, and I use they/them pronouns." 

It was silent for a moment, before Bokuto suddenly blurted out, "I guess I'm not as gay as I thought I was." 

Everyone except for Bokuto and Akaashi burst into laughter. Akaashi looked surprised, and Bokuto looked mortified. 

"No! I didn't mean to say that out loud!" Bokuto shouted through his hands that were covering his face, which made everyone laugh harder. 

"Oh my god! That's the funniest shit I've heard all week! I'm gonna have to tell my friends about that!" One of the third years said, then paused and looked to Akaashi. "Assuming you're okay with that." 

"Yeah, that's fine," Akaashi replied, still looking a little dazed. 

"Okay. I just wanted to double check first. I don't want to end up outing you to anyone without your permission." 

For a second, Bokuto was stunned. None of them were ignoring Akaashi or invalidating them in any way, and they weren't calling them any slurs. They were all accepting? 

"Well, I guess I might as well get this over with. I'm trans," Bokuto stated, looking for any negative reactions. There were none. 

"Just to clarify, do you use she/her or he/him?" A first year asked. 

"He/him." 

"Well, thank you both for telling us. It's nice to know more about you." 

As always, Akaashi and Bokuto stayed behind for extra practice. 

**\----------**

Bokuto was miserable. 

The first half of the day had been amazing, and he was in a good mood. Nothing went wrong until lunch time. 

"Fuck," Bokuto cursed under his breath when he saw blood on his underwear. He thanked any god out there that he had brought a tampon with him to the bathroom just in case, and he completely forgot about it... 

Until he was in the changing room. 

As soon as he finished pulling on a sports bra to replace his binder, Akaashi walked over to him. 

"Hey, Bokuto-san?" 

"Yeah, Akaashi?" As he was talking, he pulled his shirt on. 

"Do you mind staying behind for a minute? I want to talk to you." 

"Sure," Bokuto replied, slightly grumbling when he realized he put the shirt on backwards. He quickly switched it around and put it back on the right way. 

Once everyone else was cleared out of the room, Akaashi asked, "Are you on your period?" 

After taking a few moments to stare at them in shock, he managed to force out, "Yeah, why are you asking?" 

"You have blood on your shorts," Akaashi pointed out. Bokuto's mind took a second to process the words. 

"Wait, really? Shit, I don't have any extra clothes!" called Bokuto, and he started panicking as he frantically rummaged through his bag. 

"Relax, Bokuto-san," Akaashi cut him off, and Bokuto paused. "I have an extra pair of shorts that are too big on me. They should fit you." They grabbed the shorts out of their bag as if to prove it, and Bokuto relaxed. "I can't say the same for menstrual products or underwear, though." 

"Thank you, Akaashi! You're a lifesaver!" Bokuto quickly snatched up a tampon from his bag and the shorts from his friend before hurrying off to the bathrooms. 

Akaashi was still there when he got back, and they walked to practice together.

 **\----------**

"Do you want to come over to my house, Akaashi?" Bokuto asked when they were on their walk home. 

"If it wouldn't bother you or your parents." 

"They told me they were fine with me having friends over, and you're never a bother to me!" 

Akaashi considered it for a moment before nodding. If they wouldn't be bothering anyone, there was no harm in going, right? 

They stayed silent for the rest of the walk, listening to Bokuto fill the silence as he rambled about anything that came to mind. 

When they arrived at their destination, Bokuto started digging around in his bag for his keys, before cursing as he realized he forgot to grab them. He shot a quick text to his mother and waited. 

The door swung open to reveal Bokuto's mother, and she immediately started lecturing, "Koutarou, how did you manage to forget your keys _again_? That's-" She cut herself off when she noticed Akaashi. "Who's your friend?" 

"My name is Akaashi Keiji," they announced, bowing. "I'm on the volleyball team with your son." 

Suddenly a smirk found its way onto the woman's face. "So you're the famous Akaashi? I've heard so much about you." Bokuto was practically begging her with his eyes not to continue at that point. 

"Have you?" 

"Of course! Koutarou never shuts up about how amazing and talented you are! I'm honestly surprised he didn't bring you home before now." 

Akaashi glanced at Bokuto, trying to see if was his mother was saying was true, but the other was pointedly avoiding eye contact. They figured that was a yes, then. 

"Oh, don't let me keep you outside! Please, come on in!" Bokuto's mom stepped out of the way so the teens could come inside before closing and locking the door behind them. "Are you staying for dinner, Keiji?" 

"I'll have to check with my parents." 

"Okay. I'll be in the kitchen if you need me," the woman said, turning towards her son. "Make Keiji feel at home, okay?" The boy nodded in response, and she seemed satisfied because she walked off. 

"We'll be in my room!" Bokuto yelled after her and dragged Akaashi to his room. 

As soon as the door was shut, Bokuto immediately grumbled, "I fucking hate this." 

"Is there anything I can do to help right now?" 

"Well, the combination of cramps and dysphoria might kill me, so will you cuddle with me before that happens?" 

Akaashi snorted before responding, "Okay." 

The two of them made their way to the bed, curling up against each other under the covers. 

"Hey, Akaashi?" 

"Yes, Bokuto-san?" 

"Thank you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I cried while misgendering characters, even though it was necessary for the story.
> 
> The next chapter is going to be the last "flashback" one. After that will be the main story.
> 
> This was rushed, but I honestly don't care. Also, please do not exercise in a binder, no matter what. It can seriously damage your ribs and/or lungs, and could ruin your chances of ever getting top surgery.


	4. The Trio Meets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter explains how Kuroo, Bokuto, and Oikawa all met each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: Swearing/cursing/cussing.

**Age Sixteen:**

Bokuto was excited for his first training camp in high school. 

He had been to training camps before, but back then Bokuto was still on the girls team. Now that he was on the boys team it would be different.

 **\----------**

Bus rides are pretty boring, Bokuto found out, when you barely know anyone on them with you. He thought back to the days when he would be on the bus with the girls before he came out. There was never a dull moment, what with them always stirring up drama or crying about their boyfriends breaking up with them.

Maybe a quiet bus ride wasn't such a bad idea after all. 

**\----------**

As soon as the coach announced they had arrived, Bokuto practically skipped off the bus because of how excited he was. 

The team had a brief meeting, which Bokuto paid attention to none of, before they were dismissed to explore. 

The building wasn't all that big since only two teams were there, but it was spacious enough that Bokuto didn't fell crowded in any of the rooms. 

When Bokuto made it to the room where Fukurodani was sleeping, he decided he would set up his futon ahead of time. He knew he would be too tired to do it later, so he got it out of the way. 

Bokuto decided to stall while waiting for their first practice game of the day. He pulled out his phone and started to text his mom, rambling about how excited he was. 

Eventually the coach entered the room and told them to get ready for their practice matches. Bokuto waited patiently for everyone else to change and leave before doing the same himself, then hurried to catch up with the others. 

The team entered the gym together and looked around. There were two courts, which meant the non-starters would still be able to play.

As he was looking around, Bokuto locked eyes with a boy that had a massive bedhead. His hair fell down over one of his eyes, making him wonder how the other could play volleyball like that. 

The coaches instructed them to separate into two groups, the starters in one and everyone else in the other. They lined up on their respective sides of the net before bowing and saying, "Thank you for the game." 

It took everyone the length of the first set to get into the groove of things, but once they did, things went off without a hitch. Both teams were extremely aggressive, neither willing to give up the win. 

**\----------**

After all the games were over for the day, Bokuto walked over to the boy he was looking at earlier. 

"Hey, man, nice game. Those were some killer blocks," Bokuto told the guy with the bedhead. The boy in question looked at him, startled, before responding. 

"You weren't bad yourself." 

"You up for more practice? I'm Bokuto Koutarou, by the way," Bokuto stated, holding his hand out. 

"Sure," the other agreed. He grabbed the hand and shook it as he added, "Kuroo Tetsurou." 

**\----------**

True to their word, they practiced alone, way after everyone else left the gym, not taking a single break for at least two hours. 

"Hey, bro, are you okay?" Bokuto asked as he noticed Kuroo's fidgeting. The other nodded in response. "You sure?" 

"Yeah, I just need to tell you something," Kuroo replied. 

"Okay." 

Kuroo took a deep breath to calm his nerves before he finally admitted, "I'm transgender. I was born a female, but I'm male." 

The only response was Bokuto blurting out, "Bro, same!" before taking a sip of his water. He choked on it once he realized once he said. 

"Shit, I didn't mean to just blurt that out," Bokuto managed to get out between his coughs. Kuroo grinned at him. 

"It's okay, man. I do that sometimes, too." 

"I think we should probably call it quits for the night," suggested Bokuto, looking at the time on his phone. Kuroo nodded and the two of them started to pack up. 

**\----------------------------------------**

**Age Seventeen:**

The first thing Akaashi did after learning about Fukurodani's upcoming training camp was hit their forehead against the wall. 

It wasn't that they didn't like training camps; on the contrary, they quite enjoyed them. No, the problem was one of the other schools at the training camp. 

Fukurodani was going to be there with Nekoma--and Aoba Johsai, but they weren't the problem--meaning Akaashi would have to deal with a hyper Bokuto for the entirety of the bus ride. 

When they found out that they were leaving on Monday morning, they repeated their earlier action. This time, they received some concerned looks and a scolding from Bokuto, but they ignored them in favor of listening to the coach again. 

**\----------**

"Akaashi!" Bokuto yelled out as soon as he saw them approaching the school. They sighed. 

"Bokuto-san, I know you're excited, but please quiet down. It's early, so people are still sleeping," Akaashi scolded him, and Bokuto had the decency to look a little guilty at that.

"Sorry, Akaashi..." 

"It's okay." 

The two of them talked quietly--well, quieter than normal for Bokuto--while waiting for the rest of the team to arrive, and once everyone was there, they loaded up the bus and left. 

The bus ride was filled with Bokuto bouncing around and shouting about how he was going to see Kuroo. It was nothing new, so no one batted an eye. 

It went on like that until the last thirty minutes. 

Bokuto had been steadily growing quieter and less energetic, tiring himself out with how bouncy he had been. Akaashi noticed this and turned their body so their back was against the window, preparing to support Bokuto's weight when he inevitably fell asleep using them as a pillow. 

Akaashi had guessed correctly, and was relieved they convinced him to change into a sports bra before they left. 

When they were finally at the site of the training camp, Akaashi shook Bokuto awake. He grumbled a bit before remembering where they were. He jumped up out of his seat in anticipation, narrowly avoiding hitting his head on the roof. 

After almost trampling everyone in front of him to get out of the bus, he sprinted over to where Nekoma was. 

"Kuroo!" Bokuto shouted as he ran at the other. 

"Bo!" Kuroo yelled in response. He opened his arms for the other to run into, but wasn't prepared when Bokuto jumped at him instead, sending them tumbling to the ground. "What the hell, Bo? Warn me next time!" 

"Sorry, Kuroo! I was just really happy to see you!" 

Akaashi and Kenma met each other's eyes, trying to determine who would deal with the situation. Their best friends were still on the ground, but made no move to get up as they talked to each other. Akaashi eventually relented, peeling their eyes away from Kenma. 

"Bokuto-san, you have plenty of time to spend with Kuroo-san later. Right now you need to grab your luggage so you can bring it to our room," commented Akaashi, staring down at the boy. 

"But Akaashi-" Bokuto cut himself off at the sharp look he was given, and mumbled a half-hearted apology to Kuroo as he stood up. He pouted as he walked over to the bus. 

Akaashi pinched the bridge of their nose in annoyance before following Bokuto. "You know, maybe Kuroo-san would be willing to walk with us to our room." 

Bokuto immediately perked up at the words, grabbing his bag and skipping over to where Kuroo was once again standing. 

"Kuroo, come help me unpack!" Bokuto demanded. Kuroo nodded, and the two of them set off to find Fukurodani's room, Akaashi following closely. 

**\----------**

The next morning after breakfast, Kuroo and Bokuto decided to walk to the gym together. 

The official practice matches for that day didn't start until after lunch, but the two of them wanted to start practice as soon as possible. 

When they walked through the door, they immediately spotted a boy with brown hair serving. He was roughly the same height as them, so he was decently tall. 

The boy noticed the two of them looking at him and approached them. 

"Hello! I wasn't expecting anyone else to be in here yet, but would you like to practice with me since you're here?" the boy asked. Bokuto and Kuroo glanced at each other, then nodded. 

"Great! Let me just grab a volleyball so we can-" Suddenly the brunet was interrupted by a booming voice as the other gym door slid open. 

"Oikawa Tooru, I swear to god, if you don't get your ass back in the locker room right this second and change out of your binder, I will drag you in there and change you myself!" 

Oikawa flinched at the sudden noise and refused to meet the eyes of a fuming Iwaizumi. 

"Dude, you should listen to him. It's not healthy to exercise in a binder," Kuroo firmly stated. 

"Yeah, man," Bokuto agreed. "I know for a fact that Akaashi and Kenma would kick our asses if they found out we were playing in our binders. It's not worth the hassle." 

"Sorry to interrupt, but I need to take care of this dumbass," Iwaizumi intervened, grabbing Oikawa's shirt collar and dragging him to the changing room. 

"Iwa-chan, slow down!" was the last thing they heard before silence. 

Kuroo and Bokuto looked at each other, shrugged, and started practicing. 

**\----------**

By the end of the training camp, Oikawa had Bokuto and Kuroo's numbers, and they were already planning the next time they could hang out. 

When it came time to leave, Akaashi and Kenma stood in silence, bonding over a mutual distaste for their best friends' antics. Akaashi turned to look at Iwaizumi, who was scowling at Oikawa. 

As soon as he sensed a pair of eyes watching him, Iwaizumi looked over to Akaashi. He nodded and walked over to them, understanding the expression on their face. 

Iwaizumi wordlessly exchanged numbers with Akaashi, then did the same with Kenma. If they had to suffer, they might as well do it together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit! Thank you to everyone who has read and supported this story so far! I wasn't expecting to get over 200 hits and 30 kudos already, especially on a story as self-indulgent as this one!
> 
> If you want to say anything about the story, whether it be negative or positive, please leave a comment! I accept criticism in any form, as well as suggestions! I will also answer any questions you may have, whether they're about the fic or any of the topics or themes in it!


	5. The Chaos Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa starts a group chat with Bokuto and Kuroo to plang hangouts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be sort of like a chatfic. About half of it will be texting, and the other half will be in-person interactions. I'll make sure there is a distinguishable difference between the two so it hopefully won't be confusing.
> 
> Side note: this chapter takes place about two months after Oikawa met the other two.
> 
> Warnings: Swearing/cursing/cussing, jokes about murder, chaos.

****

**_Oikawa_ created a group chat.**

****

**_Oikawa_ added _Bokuto_ and _Kuroo_.**

**Bokuto:** HEY HEY HEY!!! 

**Kuroo:** hi 

**Kuroo:** why did you make this? 

**Oikawa:** i got tired of texting you two separately 

**Kuroo:** same tbh 

**Bokuto:** I MISS YOU GUYS!!! WE NEED TO HANG OUT SOON!!! 

**Kuroo:** i agree 

**Oikawa:** WAIT 

**Oikawa:** WE CAN HAVE A SLEEPOVER 

**Oikawa:** brb imma go ask my parents if we can have it over here 

**Oikawa:** THEY SAID YES 

**Kuroo:** SAY SIKE RN 

**Kuroo:** wait when? 

**Oikawa:** are you free on saturday? 

**Kuroo:** hold on lemme check 

**Kuroo:** HELL YEAH IM FREE 

**Oikawa:** what about bokuto? 

**Bokuto:** YOU BET UR ASS ILL BE THERE 

**Oikawa:** IM SO FUCKING HYPED RN

**\----------**

**Oikawa:** OKAY SO 

**Oikawa:** we need to come up with a name for this gc

**_Kuroo_ changed the name of the group chat to _Gay Bois_.**

**Bokuto:** nice, but im not gay 

**Kuroo:** oh yeah i forgot 

**Kuroo:** mr im not as gay as i thought i was 

**Bokuto:** WHY WOULD YOU BRING THAT UP 

**Oikawa:** I NEED TO KNOW THE STORY BEHIND THIS 

**Bokuto:** NO 

**Oikawa:** YES 

**Oikawa:** KUROO I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU IF YOU TELL ME THE STORY 

**Kuroo:** anything? 

**Oikawa:** YES NOW PLEASE TELL ME 

**Kuroo:** ok 

**Bokuto:** KUROO NO 

**Kuroo:** KUROO YES 

**Kuroo:** as i was going to say before i was so RUDELY INTERRUPTED 

**Kuroo:** one day after practice akaashi asked the team to stay back for a minute so they could say something 

**Kuroo:** so they were like "im nonbinary" and shit 

**Kuroo:** and tHEN THIS DUMBASS IMMEDIATELY BLURTS OUT "I GUESS IM NOT AS GAY AS I THOUGHT I WAS" 

**Bokuto:** I THOUGHT I COULD TRUST YOU BRO 

**Oikawa:** IM FUCKING C A C K L I N G 

**Oikawa:** IWA CHAN IS STARING AT ME LIKE IM CRAZY 

**Oikawa:** IM TELLING HIM THE STORY 

**Bokuto:** NO 

**Bokuto:** WHY DO YOU FIND MY SUFFERING FUNNY 

**Kuroo:** bc it is 

**Oikawa:** IWA CHAN STARTED LAUGHING TOO 

**Oikawa:** UGHUFYUHOIASFSHKJHAHGII I JUST FELL OFF MY BED BC OF HOW HARD IM LAUGHING AND BOTH OF US ENDED UP LAUGHING EVEN HARDER 

**Oikawa:** MY MOM CAME TO CHECK ON US TO MAKE SURE WE WERE OKAY AND I KID YOU NOT SHE OPENED THE DOOR AND TOOK ONE GLANCE INSIDE THEN IMMEDIATELY CLOSED IT AND LEFT 

**Oikawa:** ok 

**Oikawa:** i finally stopped laughing 

**Kuroo:** dude r u okay? 

**Kuroo:** its been like ten minutes 

**Oikawa:** yeah im good now 

**Oikawa:** iwa chan says he has an idea for the name 

**_Oikawa_ changed the name of the group to _The Chaotic Trio_.**

****

****

**Kuroo:** HHAHIOUIUGHFUIGIFJDPWEOFNHWI ITS PERFECT 

**Oikawa:** IKR??? 

**Oikawa:** IWA CHAN IS SO SMART!!!! 

**Kuroo:** simp 

**Oikawa:** ur saying that as if you dont simp for kenma 

**Kuroo:** this isnt about me 

**Kuroo:** this is about you 

**Kuroo:** and how ur whipped for him 

**Oikawa:** I AM NOT 

**Kuroo:** you are 

**Oikawa:** ... 

**Oikawa:** where did bokuto go? 

**Kuroo:** hes probs in emo mode 

**Kuroo:** yeah hes in emo mode 

**Oikawa:** how do u know for sure? 

**Kuroo:** akaashi just called and asked wtf i did 

**Kuroo:** they said theyre coming to hunt me down 

**Oikawa:** rip 

**Kuroo:** i gtg find someplace to hide 

**Kuroo:** bye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter wasn't the longest or the best, but it's out a lot sooner than usual


	6. Oikawa Has One of Those Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa is feeling extremely dysphoric, and Iwaizumi helps him through it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Swearing/cursing/cussing, gender dysphoria, hurt/comfort, mentions of non-sexual nudity (they take a shower together).
> 
> Note: There's a shit ton of fluff after the angst, so be prepared.
> 
> Note Two: None of the volleyboys (and Akaashi) are dating anyone yet.

Oikawa knew something was off from the moment he woke up. 

Normally Oikawa would wake up feeling refreshed, and he would be fully awake in less than ten minutes. Today, however, he felt groggy. 

Instead of immediately getting up, Oikawa found himself stalling by playing on his phone. He had a feeling something bad would happen if he actually got out of bed that day. Usually his instincts were correct, so he trusted himself. 

After about thirty minutes of procrastinating, he finally decided it was time to get up. 

Once Oikawa was standing, he checked the time. He panicked for a moment, thinking he would be late to school, only to realize he had no school that day. 

Breathing out a sigh of relief, Oikawa made his way to his bathroom, taking his time as he went through his normal morning routine. It was the same as always until he looked in the mirror. 

The moment he saw his reflection, he instantly tensed up. His eyes raked over his appearance, scrutinizing every single aspect, until they landed on his chest. 

Oikawa suddenly felt like he was going to throw up. He knew his chest was there, but seeing it made his stomach churn because it _shouldn't be there_. 

He decided he should leave the room before he actually _did_ throw up, so he went back to his room. 

The second he saw it, Oikawa immediately grabbed his binder and ripped his shirt off before hurriedly pulling it on. He didn't bother to put anything on over it or change out of his pajama pants. 

All he wanted to do was curl up under the blankets on his bed, so that was exactly what he did. 

He stayed in that position, staring at the wall, mind blank, for an indeterminable amount of time before the sound of his phone going off snapped him out of his trance. 

Oikawa reached over to his nightstand. He grabbed the phone and unlocked it, looking at the text he had gotten. 

****

**Iwa-chan**

**10:56**

_Are you okay? You haven't texted me at all today._

Oikawa was surprised when he looked at the timestamp. He had been laying there for almost two hours, doing absolutely nothing. 

He started to type out a response, but faltered. If he said he was fine, he would be lying, but he didn't want to tell the truth either. 

Oikawa deleted what he had typed out and shut the screen off. He didn't have the energy to fight himself over a simple reply to a text. 

At some point, his mother knocked on his door, asking what he wanted for lunch, but he told her he wasn't hungry. In protest, his stomach growled, but made no move to get up to eat. 

He zoned out again, and it was hours later when he was brought back to reality. 

The sound of Oikawa's door opening made him aware that someone was coming in. He didn't know who it was, but he honestly didn't care at that moment. 

"Tooru?" Oikawa heard, and oh, it was Iwaizumi. When he didn't recieve a response, he added, "Are you awake?" 

Oikawa took his arm out from under the blanket and patted the space behind him. Iwaizumi got the hint and crawled under with him, waiting for the other to curl into his side before continuing. 

"Have you gotten out of bed at all today?" 

"Yeah," Oikawa mumbled, barely managing to find his voice. Iwaizumi wrapped his arm around him, pulling him closer, and Oikawa let out a content sigh. 

"Did you eat anything?" 

"No." 

"Did you drink any water?" 

"No." 

"Did you take a shower?" 

"No." 

"What all did you do while you were up?" 

"I used the bathroom and put on my binder, then came back here." 

Iwaizumi simply hummed in acknowledgement and they were quiet for a while. 

Eventually Iwaizumi moved, standing up and tugging at Oikawa to do the same. 

"When did you put that on?" Iwaizumi asked, gesturing towards the binder. Oikawa paused to think. 

"Nine o'clock." 

Iwaizumi checked the time on his phone and frowned. "You've had it on for nine hours. You need to take it off." 

"Okay. Just let me find a shirt-" Oikawa started, but was cut off by Iwaizumi shaking his head. "I thought you wanted me to... what are you doing?" 

" _We_ ," Iwaizumi started, pausing as he grabbed clothes, "are going to take a shower." 

"Right now?" 

Iwaizumi nodded. "Right now." 

The two of them walked to the bathroom and took a shower together, quietly conversing throughout it. 

When they stepped out and dried themselves off, Oikawa moved to put his binder back on, but Iwaizumi stopped him. 

"Tooru, I know you want it back on, but it's not safe right now. You need to let yourself rest." 

Oikawa hesitantly listened, pulling on the baggy shirt Iwaizumi grabbed for him instead. 

Once the two of them finished getting dressed, Iwaizumi dragged his friend downstairs. 

When Oikawa's mom saw the two of them come down the steps, she smiled at them. 

"Dinner's ready," she announced cheerfully before moving to sit in the dining room. 

The boys joined her, and they talked while they ate. 

After dinner, Iwaizumi wordlessly dragged Oikawa up to his room, having him sit on the bed before digging through his closet. 

Before Oikawa could ask why, blankets and pillows were being thrown towards the bed, and he barely contained his excitement when he realized they were going to make a pillow fort. 

At least, he _thought_ they were both going to build it, but he didn't complain when Iwaizumi insisted Oikawa just sit back and watch while he did all the work. 

When Iwaizumi declared that he was done, Oikawa stood up with the intention of walking over there. He gasped in surprise when the other picked him up bridal-style and carried him over there. 

"What was that for, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa questioned as soon as he was set down. 

"I wanted to spoil you a bit," Iwaizumi stated as he grabbed the remote from the TV stand then curled up with Oikawa. He had a relaxed smile on his face as they locked eyes. "You deserve it." 

Oikawa felt a smile make its way onto his own face at those words. He shuffled closer until their shoulders were pressed together, legs tangled in a heap as they lay there, enjoying each other's company. 

"Hey, Hajime?" 

"Yeah?" Iwaizumi turned to look at Oikawa. 

"I love you." 

Iwaizumi planted a kiss on his forehead before replying, "I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for 50 kudos and almost 400 hits! It really means a lot, and it keeps me motivated to keep writing!
> 
> Note: Their families know and are fine with them showering together. They know they don't mean it in a sexual way, and that they usually do it when Oikawa is having a bad day.


	7. The Boys are Hyped Up!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Chaotic Trio anticipates their sleepover while Kuroo and Bokuto are on the train.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Swearing/cursing/cussing, jokes about sex
> 
> Note: This is just a filler chapter bc I have some writers block for this story, and I'm hoping to cure it by writing some requests I have on my one-shot book (which you should check out if you have any requests, btw). It's really short, so be warned.

****

**The Chaotic Trio**

**11:30**

**Kuroo:** were leaving now 

**Oikawa:** what 

**Oikawa:** wait 

**Oikawa:** WAIT 

**Oikawa:** SHIT 

**Kuroo:** ??? 

**Bokuto:** whats wrong? 

**Oikawa:** I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO SHOPPING YESTERDAY 

**Oikawa:** BUT I WAS HAVING A SHITTY DAY AND FORGOT 

**Kuroo:** that sucks man 

**Bokuto:** why didnt you tell us you were having a bad day? 

**Kuroo:** ^we could have helped you through it 

**Oikawa:** i didnt have the energy to be on my phone 

**Oikawa:** BUT DONT WORRY!!! 

**Oikawa:** IWA CHAN WAS THERE TO CHEER ME UP!!! 

**Kuroo:** im sure he was ;) 

**Oikawa:** ALL WE DID WAS CUDDLE YOU PERVERT!!! 

**Kuroo:** if you say so 

**Oikawa:** I DO BC ALL WE DID WAS CUDDLE!!! 

**Oikawa:** and he kissed my forehead 

**Oikawa:** and we said i love you 

**Oikawa:** BUT THAT DOESNT MATTER BC IT WAS ALL WHOLESOME 

**Bokuto:** holy shit dude... 

**Kuroo:** HOW IN THE ACTUAL F U C K ARE YOU TWO NOT TOGETHER????????? 

**Oikawa:** YOU ARE IN NO POSITION TO SAY THAT 

**Oikawa:** LIKE HAVE YOU SEEN THE WAY YOU AND KENMA ACT???????? 

**Kuroo:** DONT BRING KENMA INTO THIS 

**Oikawa:** ITS TOO LATE 

**Oikawa:** HES ALREADY A PART OF THIS 

**Oikawa:** but im at the store now so ttyl <3 

**Kuroo:** <3 

**Bokuto:** <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: 600 HITS AND 70 KUDOS???? I BARELY HAD 300 HITS AND 20 KUDOS JUST THE OTHER DAY????? THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!
> 
> Note Two: I promise the next chapter will be the sleepover!


	8. Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Chaotic Trio has their sleepover, and Iwaizumi supervises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Swearing/cursing/cussing, non-sexual stripping
> 
> Note: I'm sorry this chapter took so long! I was working on my Haikyuu!! oneshot book, which you can check out if you want!

Oikawa was on the couch, watching TV with Iwaizumi, when the doorbell rang. 

The second the sound echoed out of the speakers, Oikawa was on his feet and sprinting toward the door. 

"Kuro-chan, Boku-chan! Come on in!" Oikawa ushered them inside, and they took turns hugging him before he closed and locked the door. "Follow me to the living room." 

"Wow, Oikawa, your house is so nice!" Bokuto exclaimed, gawking at his surroundings. 

"Thanks, but my parents did it all." 

"Yeah, Shittykawa couldn't make good design choices to save his life," Iwaizumi called from the couch, only sparing the group a glance. 

"Mean, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa cried out, crossing his arms over his chest and fake-pouting. That earned him an eye-roll.

"So where are we going to be sleeping?" Kuroo asked. 

"In my room. Here, follow me." Oikawa guided them up the stairs, Iwaizumi following them. "You can set your bags on my bed for right now." 

Kuroo and Bokuto followed Oikawa's instruction, then took a moment to look around the room. 

After a few moments, Oikawa announced, "My parents are away on a business trip for the weekend, so we don't have to worry about being loud." The two guests grinned at that. "Iwa-chan is staying with us, and since none of us here know how to cook, we'll just have snacks for dinner." 

"Actually, I know how to cook," Bokuto muttered, surprising everyone, even Kuroo. 

"You _do_?" the other three simultaneously questioned. Bokuto nodded. 

"Yeah, I just get distracted too easily to do it by myself. Having ADHD sucks." 

"It really does," Iwaizumi agreed. 

"That still proves my point," Oikawa stated, "that we should just have snacks for dinner. It's easier than cooking a meal, and that way we can bring everything right up here." 

"I'll go grab them," offered Iwaizumi, and Oikawa immediately started protesting. 

"Iwa-chan, it's _my_ sleepover, _I_ will go get the snacks," insisted Oikawa. 

"I'm here for a reason, Oikawa. Besides, I don't really have anything better to do, so let me go." 

"Absolutely not! I will _not_ let you do the host's work for me!" 

"I'm helping you host, so I should do some of the work!" 

" _Technically_ , you don't live here, which means you're a guest as well. That means _I_ should get everything together while _you_ sit back and relax." 

" _Technically_ , I've practically moved in at this point. Literally half of the things in this room are _mine_!" 

"Will you just shut up and let me do this already?" 

"No!" 

"Why?" 

"Because I'm going to help you, whether you like it or not!" 

"Fine, then you go downstairs and get the snacks while I get everything set up in here!" 

"Fine!" 

After that last word was uttered, the two of them shook hands and split, each going to do their own job. Kuroo and Bokuto stood completely still, dumbfounded at what just happened. They stared at Oikawa once Iwaizumi left the room. 

Eventually Oikawa noticed them staring, and looked up from where he was unrolling the guest futons, raising an eyebrow. The two quickly looked away. 

Oikawa continued his task, finishing just as there was a shout from the other side of the door. 

"Oikawa, open your door!" 

The door slid open to reveal Iwaizumi with about ten different packages of junk food in his arms. He shoved his way past Oikawa to set them down on the bed before leaving the room once again. 

"Where is he going?" Kuroo asked. 

"He's going to get the soda and juice," Oikawa responded, walking over to his closet to grab blankets and pillows, dropping them on the futons before straightening them out. 

This time Iwaizumi was able to open the door by himself. He repeated his earlier action before crouching down to help Oikawa. 

"Okay, we're done!" exclaimed Oikawa. 

The four of them settled on the futons, talking until Bokuto suddenly blurted out, "Let's play Truth or Dare!" 

"That's boring, though," whined Oikawa. 

"How about, every time we fail to answer the truth or do the dare, we have to take off one article of clothing, and you're out if you get down to your underwear?" Kuroo suggested, grinning. The other chaotic ones agreed, but Iwaizumi was hesitant. 

"Are you sure all of you are comfortable with me being in here if you're going to do this?" Iwaizumi asked. 

Oikawa pointed out, "Obviously _I'm_ fine with it. What about you two?" He gestured towards them, and they both shrugged. 

"I'll play too, but any of you can call it quits or have me leave the room if you're uncomfortable, okay?" Everyone agreed, and the game started. 

"Oikawa, truth or dare?" Kuroo asked. 

"Truth." 

"Do you have a crush on anyone?" 

Oikawa glared at Kuroo, noticing the knowing grin on his face before replying, "Yes." 

Iwaizumi looked over at him with wide eyes. "You do?" 

"Yeah, I do. Bokuto, truth or dare?" 

"Truth." 

"If you don't want to answer this one there won't be a penalty. What's your sexuality?" 

Bokuto took a few moments to think it through before responding, "I actually don't know. Akaashi is the only person I've ever had non-platonic feelings towards." He then realized that Iwaizumi was there and blushed. "Iwaizumi, truth or dare?" 

"Dare." 

"Oikawa, do you still have any of your old dresses?" Bokuto questioned, peering at the closet doors. 

"Yeah, but why-" 

"I dare you to try on one of Oikawa's dresses!" shouted Bokuto, interrupting what Oikawa was going to say. 

"I'm not sure any of them will fit, but okay," Iwaizumi replied, standing up and walking to the closet. He opened the door and stepped inside, gesturing for Oikawa to follow him. Kuroo wiggled his eyebrows, and Oikawa went bright red. 

"Stop that! I have to help him put on the dress he chooses! All of them zip in the back!" 

With that said, Oikawa followed the older boy into the closet, closing the door behind him. 

Muffled voices could be heard for a few minutes, and then the sound of a zipper. The voices continued for a while until the door opened. 

Iwaizumi was wearing a blue dress that was long and flowy. It had a slit on the left leg, and it dragged on the floor behind him because it was too long. The straps were loose enough to show his armpits, and it had a v-neck. 

"This is surprisingly comfortable," Iwaizumi confessed. "I like it." 

Oikawa hummed in approval, smiling. "I thought you would." 

"The only thing I don't like about it is how long it is." As if to prove his point, Iwaizumi grabbed a clump of the fabric and lifted it off of the ground. 

"Maybe I'll take you shopping to get a dress that fits you some time," Oikawa offered, and there was a flicker of joy in Iwaizumi's eyes before he turned to Bokuto. 

"Can I take this off now, or do I have to keep it on?" 

"You can take it off." 

The childhood friends went back into the closet and came out a minute later. This time Iwaizumi was back in his normal clothes. 

"Kuroo, truth or dare?" Iwaizumi asked, and Kuroo thought it over for a moment, before he decided to play it safe. 

"Truth." 

"Have you ever thought of Bokuto as more than a friend?" 

"Of course I do. All the time, actually," Kuroo admitted without a second thought. He smiled at Bokuto, who smiled back, and grabbed his hand before looking back to a confused Iwaizumi. 

"I thought Bokuto liked Akaashi." 

"He does." 

"Then why..." Iwaizumi trailed off for a second before asking, "Is he poly or something?" 

Kuroo sighed before saying, "We're QPPs." 

"Oh," Iwaizumi stated, before the information processed. " _Oh_. That makes sense." 

**\----------**

An hour later, Kuroo and Iwaizumi were the only ones who weren't down to their underwear yet. 

"New rule! You dare each other, and whoever chickens out first loses!" Bokuto shouts out, causing both of the competitors to grin. 

"I dare you to eat an entire box of matcha Pocky!" Iwaizumi challenged, knowing Kuroo hated that flavor. He growled, but complied. 

Once finished with the box, Kuroo yelled, "I dare you to kiss someone in this room!" 

Iwaizumi walked over to Oikawa and planted a kiss on his forehead. He then turned back to Kuroo and explained, "You didn't say where." 

They continued on like this until, eventually, Iwaizumi said something that surprised everyone. 

"I dare you to call Kenma and confess to him." 

Not wanting to back down, Kuroo took out his phone and dialed Kenma's number. 

"Hi, Kenma, I just wanted to check in on you. How are you doing?" 

Everyone else in the room was silent as they waited for him to continue. 

"Listen, I have something to tell you." 

Everyone perked up. 

Kuroo hesitated for a second before saying, "I ate the last slice of your apple pie." 

Sensing Kenma would start yelling, Kuroo dragged the phone away from his ear just in time. 

"You motherfucker! I fucking knew you were the one who did it! You're an asshole, you know that?" Kenma started, but Kuroo hung up, effectively cutting the other off. 

"Yeah, I'm gonna regret that later," Kuroo grumbled, turning to look at Iwaizumi. "I did it." 

"No you didn't. You chickened out." 

"You didn't specify what I had to confess, so yes, I did." 

"Fine, just tell me the next one." 

"Do the Iron Cross yoga pose." 

"That's easy," Iwaizumi declared, then got into position. He balanced his weight and adjusted himself until he was holding the pose. "How's this?" 

Kuroo's jaw hit the floor. Bokuto had a similar reaction, and even Oikawa was surprised. 

"You can stop now," Kuroo said after almost a minute. Iwaizumi let himself fall down onto the futons, then sat up, feeling dizzy at the sudden change of perspective. 

Once he recovered from the dizzy spell, Iwaizumi said, "I dare you to do a backflip." 

"Do I have to actually succeed or can I just try?" 

"You have to actually land it." 

Kuroo took his shirt off, revealing his binder. Iwaizumi cheered. 

"I think we should go to bed, considering it's one o'clock," Oikawa suggested, and they all agreed. 

**\----------**

"Hey, Iwa-chan?" 

"Hmm?" Iwaizumi hummed from where his head was buried in Oikawa's hair. 

"Thank you for the help tonight." 

"It's no problem." 

"Goodnight." 

It was silent for a while, and Oikawa was about to fall asleep when he felt a kiss be pressed on the top of his head, along with a muttered, "Goodnight, Tooru."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Iwaizumi's dress: 
> 
> Note: ADGSFDAWEEDDASEDDD 100 KUDOS AND 1000 HITS??? THANK YOU!!!
> 
> Note Two: I keep making on-the-fly decisions that I need to add to the tags, but here we are.


	9. Kenma's Wrath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo faces the consequences of eating Kenma's apple pie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Swearing/cursing/cussing, violence
> 
> Note: Not me posting two chapters in one day.

****

**The Chaotic Trio**

**14:59**

**Kuroo:** im getting ready to go over to kenmas house rn 

**Oikawa:** are u sure thats a good idea? 

**Kuroo:** no 

**Kuroo:** but im hoping its not too bad 

**Bokuto:** BE CAREFUL BRO 

**Bokuto:** kenma is scary when hes mad 

**Kuroo:** i will 

**Kuroo:** but it cant be THAT bad 

**15:10**

**Kuroo:** ITS THAT BAD 

**Kuroo:** ACTUALLY I CHANGED MY MIND 

**Kuroo:** ITS SO MUCH WORSE 

**Oikawa:** we tried to warn u 

**Oikawa:** but u didnt listen 

**Bokuto:** ARE YOU OKAY BRO?????? 

**Kuroo:** MY SOUL HAS LEFT MY BODY 

**Kuroo:** THIS IS THE MADDEST IVE EVER SEEN KENMA 

**Bokuto:** IM COMING TO SAVE YOU 

**Kuroo:** DONT 

**Kuroo:** HELL GET YOU TOO 

**Oikawa:** exactly how bad is it? 

**Kuroo:** *video* 

_In the video, Kenma is screaming incoherently and throwing things in the direction of the camera. Kuroo turns it around to face himself for a moment before switching it back. Kenma's mother steps in to try and stop him, but nothing will calm him down. Kuroo's sobs can be heard in the background._

**Oikawa:** HOW TF ARE YOU EVEN ALIVE RN 

**Kuroo:** IDK BUT ITS A MIRACLE 

**Kuroo:** IM LEAVING TO GET MORE APPLE PIE FOR HIM 

**Bokuto:** GOOD LUCK BRO 

**16:04**

**Kuroo:** HES FINALLY CALM 

**Bokuto:** OMG UR ALIVE 

**Oikawa:** HOLY SHIT IT TOOK THAT LONG??? 

**Kuroo:** yeah 

**Kuroo:** all it took was some apple pie and cuddles 

**Kuroo:** oh shit hes crying 

**Kuroo:** gtg bye 

**Oikawa:** bye 

**Bokuto:** BYE!!!


	10. Apple Pie and Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo comforts Kenma after his emotional outburst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Crying, hurt/comfort, emotional constipation, Depression
> 
> Note: I guess posting three chapters in one day is my way of apologizing for not posting in a month, so here you go!

Kuroo took a deep breath before opening Kenma's bedroom door. He was prepared to be yelled at, or even have things thrown at him, again. 

What he _wasn't_ expecting, however, was for Kenma to run at him full-force. 

Kuroo stumbled a bit, trying to make sure he didn't drop the apple pie while supporting the younger boy's weight as well as his own. 

"I'm sorry," Kenma whimpered into Kuroo's neck. 

"It's okay," Kuroo responded. "You've been bottling up your emotions again, haven't you?" Kuroo felt him nod, and he sighed. "Come on. Let's go sit down." 

Kenma reluctantly let go, and Kuroo smiled at him before opening the door. They walked in, and he closed it behind them before taking Kenma's hand. 

The two of them made their way over to the bed, scooting up so they were leaning against the headboard after sitting down. Kenma curled into Kuroo's side, resting his head on his shoulder, finally noticing the apple pie he had. 

"Is that where you went when you left?" Kuroo nodded and popped off the lid. 

"I went and bought it for you," Kuroo told him, and Kenma's eyes widened. 

"You did?" 

In that moment, Kenma's voice sounded so small it made Kuroo want to cry. 

"Of course I did. I ate the last slice of your last one, so I had to make up for it _somehow_ , right?" 

Kenma took a second to consider that statement before nodding his head, then making grabby hands for the container. Kuroo gave it to him without a second thought. 

Kenma started eating the pie, and Kuroo took out his phone to start texting his group chat. 

After a while, he heard a weird noise, so he looked over and saw Kenma crying. He said goodbye to his friends before shutting the screen off and putting it down. 

Opening his arms, Kuroo waited for Kenma to settle between them. He held him for a while before speaking. 

"Do you wanna talk about it?" 

"Yeah, but I don't know how to word it." 

"Okay," Kuroo responded, rubbing Kenma's back with one hand while the other ran through his hair. 

The two of them stayed like that until Kenma was ready to talk. 

"Sometimes I feel like I don't want to do anything except for stay in my bed," Kenma admitted. "Well, it's not so much that I don't _want_ to, it's more like..." He trailed off for a minute and Kuroo patiently waited for him to continue. "It's more like I can't _bring myself_ to, like it's a _burden_ just to get up." 

"I kind of get what you mean when you say that," Kuroo agreed. "Sometimes I have off days like that." 

"That's the thing, though. This isn't just every once in a while. This is _every day_." Kenma paused for a moment to take a deep breath. "I also feel empty. I feel like I don't feel any emotion most of the time, and when I do, it's usually anger. I very rarely feel happy, and you're usually the one that makes me happy." 

"I can't imagine how hard it must be to feel like that every day," Kuroo muttered. "I'm glad you told me. Is there any way I can help right now?" 

"Stay here with me." 

They were silent for a while until Kenma spoke once again. 

"Thank you, Tetsurou." 

"There's no need to thank me. I'll always be here to listen." 

"I love you." 

"I love you too, and I just want to tell you how strong you are for dealing with that on your own up until now." 

"You really think that?" 

"Of course I do. You managed to fight that feeling every day for at least a few months now, and never tell a single soul about it. I wouldn't have been able to do it. I may be physically strong, but you're mentally strong." To prove his point, he poked Kenma's head, and the other pulled back and scrunched up his nose. 

"Okay, I changed my mind. I don't want you here anymore," Kenma joked, causing Kuroo to start laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: How Kenma describes himself feeling in this chapter is based off of my personal experiences with Depression. This is not how Depression is for everyone. Everyone has different experiences with mental disorders/illnesses and describes them differently, but this was the most relatable way for me to describe it.


End file.
